WHY I’M HERE
I’m sure we all have had experience with the question, “Why am I doing this?” I’ve lost count how many times I’ve asked myself this as I’ve created this blog. It’s right up there with, “What am I possibly going to write about?”
I thought I was going to be a children’s book author. That has been my goal since I was in first grade, or at least some variation of it. The year I’m launching More Becoming, I went to the Storymakers Conference in Provo, Utah, putting my blood, sweat, and tears into plotting my latest story so I could be critiqued and get better. I was feeling so much resistance, and nothing seemed to want to come together. I decided that the conference would give me clarity. After attending, I’d be able to determine if writing a children’s book was really what I wanted to do–because I had a few doubts.
The conference changed everything for me, but not in the way I expected. It set me on a path that lead me here. I’d considered writing a blog. In fact, two years before I’d come up with the idea of More Becoming and even started designing and writing for it. I had articles about meal planning and mommy-ing. Life happened, and I let the idea go.
Clearly, it resurfaced, but the title More Becoming meant something a bit different now. It has a similar bent to the original idea from two years ago, but I’m not the same woman I was then, so naturally the blog idea has also shifted.
Why am I doing this? Because a series of small experiences over time changed my life, and then God said: write about it. For whatever reason, that feels cheesy to say–God told me to. Maybe too many people have made a mockery of that whole idea. But for me, that’s totally true. I was reading a talk by Sheri Dew called “Knowing Who You Are–And Who You Have Always Been.” She was dropping truth bombs right and left, and I was reveling in it. All she said was the things I’ve been learning for months now! Yes! And then she said this:
Once we understand who we really are, we are not only beholden to the Lord to help others discover the same truths but we simply cannot be restrained from doing so.
And wow, y’all. If ever I’ve had a heaven’s open and showing me the way I should go moment, this was it. I immediately went to pray, and I knew that this is what I was meant to do. I told Him that I had no idea what to write about or what to say or how to say it, but I would do it.
The doing took a while, and doubts have crept in uninvited, and fears have rendered me a statue for weeks on end, but here I am. More Becoming.
Why am I doing this?
I’m writing this blog because I know that I am a child of heavenly parents, a child of God. I’m doing this because even though I grew up singing “I am a child of God and He has sent me here,” I didn’t really understand or know for myself what that meant. Not that I didn’t have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, but just that I literally did not understand my divine identity. Knowing who I am is shifting who I am. It’s shifting how I think. It’s shifting what I do. Finally knowing it, I have to share it, because I know that there are other people out there whose lives will change when they know who they are too.
I am not perfect, and I don’t remember who I am as a daughter of God in every minute of every day, but I feel myself becoming every day. I invite you, whoever you are, to join me in More Becoming.